Therapy Toronto Psychotherapy Definitions
|Stephen van Beek|
- Family Issues
- Family issues refers to the truth that no set of persons in a family can attain complete connection, simply because there are always shortcomings in personal development.
Our societies constantly tell us of the importance of a happy family life but in our hearts each of us recognizes from time to time how much we fall short of the ideal of being perfectly happy and content, even in our own family.
Often we feel guilty, angry or ashamed about this.
Our 'first family', the ones into which we were born, often consists of parents attempting to do their best with their life-circumstances. Very often our own parents have not gotten clear of the negative influences from their own original family traditions.
We cannot choose our relatives and most of us know the feeling that somehow we are not well understood despite the efforts of those around us. We also recognize we cannot share our affection equally with our siblings and other relatives. We may even feel we are somehow in the wrong family; we may wonder if we were adopted, or wish we could be.
It is for this reason that so many people have family-related issues.
At the same time, these issues will affect us when we come to consider forming a family of our own. Often our fear of repeating old negative patterns prevents us from committing to deeper more lasting life-relationships and becoming intimate.
Much of the work of modern psychotherapy is around understanding the family forces that shape us both for better and worse, and in finding ways to live that better reflect who we really are and who we are striving to become.